The Bible, as I recall it
“In the Beginning, God created the Heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and Void; and a darkness was upon the face of the Deep. And so the Spirit of God moved across the face of the Waters, and God Said “Let there be Light” and there was light, and God saw the Light, and it was good.
Then God got all squiffy drunk and made the manifold platypuses and wombats and stoats, and those odd little things that swim about in the ocean and are transparent and glowy. And God looked down upon them and said “Let There Be Land”, for he hadn’t gotten to that point yet, and some of the platypuses and stoats had drowned. And God thus made the beaches and beer-shacks and taquerias, and the Puerto Ricans and the French. And then God took a lesser part of himself and molded Man. And God breathed into Man the essence of spirit, which smelled a bit off, for God had been eating taquitos and doing shots with the Puerto Ricans.
Man awoke in the Forest Primeval, and rubbed his eyes, and scratched his genitals, and stretched, and said “Oi! Where’s the birds, wot?” And so God laid Man to rest, and took of him a rib, and most of his brain, and made Woman.
Then god took a nap, for he’d had quite enough work. Then he watched his soaps. Then made a pie, and forgot all about Man and Woman, and the stoats and platypuses.
And so here we are today.
Amen.”
(I was testing a new word processor, while drunk)
December 9th, 2010 at 5:41 pm
Which is exactly why I gave up on churchin’ and all that. If the divine don’t care enough to stop stupid people from sending their money to Nigeria or stoppin’ stupid people from converting to religions that claim violence as high order humanism, then I ain’t got time for it. You get a divine like that, drunk and forgetful & capricious and lack of planning, who needs it. Stone drunk George Bush clones could do as good. In fact, one of ‘em did. So there.