nerdgod.com

So Michael Symon is the new star of the retooled Dinner: Impossible show, replacing “the lying limey” Robert Irvine.

I think they missed the point of the show, shared also by “Throwdown with Bobby Flay”: the host of such shows should be kind of a dick—so you secretly want to see him fail miserably, and when he seems humbled by his ordeal, you’re rewarded. Michael Symon just seems to be having fun. And he’s a nice guy who loves bacon. What kind of person wants to see a guy who makes chocolate-covered bacon fail?

Which is why they need to have that snooty-faced Ice Queen from the Next Food Network Star win that competition, so she can do Dinner: Impossible and have breakdowns and triumph, humbly, in the end.

Dear corporate copywriters the world over: Stop using ‘utilize’.

Every day I see “utilize”, “utilized”, or “utilizing” used to mean “used”. You don’t “utilize our partnership” or “utilize the website” or “utilize your desk phone”. No. You use them.

You can only “utilize” something that isn’t really a tool to begin with. Let’s say that your corporate jet crashes on a deserted island. Then and only then may you utilize your phone to crack coconuts; or, utilize your binder as a serving tray for poi. You may even utilize your tie as a makeshift tourniquet. Hopefully on your neck. Because you’re an evil evil person who hates language and clear thought.